People I'd like to thank...

This is an ongoing thematic rant I will have title "People I'd like to thank". It will consist of me giving my unadulterated, whole-hearted, bottom-of-my-heart gratitude to specific peeps I feel like smashing with thanks.

First I'd like to thank the guy who programmed the timing of bathroom hand-dryers. You know the kind that sit on the wall next to the sink in a public restroom? Don't misread me, I appreciate the hand dryrer because I think public restrooms are a feeding ground for germs and disgusting things.

But let's focus on the jerk at hand. The dude who set the timing of each drying cycle. You are genius with a capital G and capital ENIUS. After washing ones hands, which most people don't do, one has a choice to wipe ones hands on ones pants or partake in a brilliant invention appreciated by germ-a-phobes everywhere. But the difficult thing to understand is why you, drying cycle timer dude, decided to set the timing so that one cycle isn't enough and two cycles are too much.

The first cycle always leaves my hands moist. And yes I follow all full-color diagrams and directions. And when I need to start the 2nd cycle, if I stay the whole time my skin begins to burn; or the restroom is left with the empty sound of a hand dryer just blowin. That is a waste of energy, especially in these high price oil times. You should recalibrate your dryers. They would last longer, dry better, and use less electricity.

Frankly I'm thinking of going back to the ole' "hey look over there" (then wiping on my jeans)

Thanks a lot Hand dryer-timing-programmer-dude!